I have to say, right off the bat, that I haven't run in a couple of days. That's a bad thing! Gwen, the girl on my runner girl necklace is feeling a bit neglected - and I don't blame her. I'm feeling a bit neglected, myself and the person doing the neglecting is me! Since I ran late on Saturday I decided to put off my next run until Monday morning... but it was storming out, so I put it off some more. Decided that I was going to run this morning, and the alarm went off at 5:20. I turned it off to get up, and don't know what happened. I awoke again an hour later. And I felt like a total loser! I did some hard thinking this morning - when I got done bitching myself out - and feel a bit better, and somewhat enlightened.
First of all, this is something I'm choosing to do. No one is making me run. My job doesn't depend on it and neither does my life. But I AM choosing to do it. I want to be a runner! So why the sporadic difficulty? I clearly haven't developed the running habit, yet. But that's a pretty lame reason! The truth is that I haven't set any priorities. I haven't made running a priority, and I haven't really made myself a priority. I've certainly had days when I've felt totally committed, and there has been no doubt in my mind that this lifestyle is achievable, but then, some days, morning arrives so early and hits me over the head and tells me to go back to sleep, or it's too rainy, or I have a long day ahead of me, or a host of other reasons why I don't need to run right then. Obviously family and work are also priorities, and work does take up a lot of my time - over 10 hours each day, 5 days a week, but I don't have children, so my family "duties" aren't inflexible. I easily have an hour, or so, each day that I can put myself first and get my butt out there and run. I just need to make it clear to myself, above all, that THAT has to come first. My running coach gives me a schedule to run by, and goals - but I have to make myself a priority and he can't help me with that!
Also, I realized that I need to do more than just run. I'm not talking about other exercise, or even eating right (which I already do) but every single night I set myself up to fail the next day. I said that I eat right - and I do! I have time set aside every night to make my breakfast and lunch for the next day, and enter it in my food journal, so I know that I will have a successful day, food-wise. And I do get my running clothes out and ready to go the next morning, but then I don't go to bed. Why would I feel committed to my goals and choices at 5:30 in the morning, when I've only had 5 hours sleep - on a good night? Duh! I need to get more sleep! So I'm going to make some changes. Because I CHOOSE to be a runner, I will make myself a PRIORITY and, now that I have come to the REALIZATION that not getting enough sleep is really detrimental to my choices, I will get ready for bed and be tucked in by 10:00. I know this is long for a day that I didn't even run. Thanks for reading and I'll be back tomorrow!
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